“Shadow work is the path of the Heart Warrior.” ~ Carl Jung.
I absolutely love this quote! Indeed, we cannot heal our pain or break limiting or painful patterns in life until we embrace our shadows and work through them.
We need to feel it in order to heal it. That is the only way. Suppressing our emotions and denying our shadow side keeps us perpetually stuck in suffering. We have a choice. The ability to exercise our will is choice. The choice to do the work of facing our shadow side and feel the emotions that come with it and allow ourselves to be loved in the process. Our Soul is pure love and will always love us…Always…Shadow and all!
The intensity of these times globally is beckoning us with a choice to change or to stay stuck. The choice to create change may not come willingly or without pain. In fact, the only way to the light is through the shadow. To quote Carl Jung once again:
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
My transition continues from the death and rebirthing that Covid-19 and lockdown enforced in my life. So many Divine gifts forced yet necessary change has revealed to me and so much to still heal. Just as I thought the layer of heartache had been faced, Spirit continues to show me there is still much residue of pain sitting with parts of my life and that I still need to heal the shadow or shadows that veil broken parts of my heart.
Like countless others experiencing the upheaval of emotions this massive global shift has caused, just when I thought my emotional rollercoaster ride had settled into a rhythm of acceptance of what currently is and what needs to be, the journey hit another gut-wrenching dive. Once again my cerebral thinking wanted to take the reins to find a solution and to retreat back to my unconscious belief that I am powerless and incapable. Fortunately, these past few months have gifted me the teaching of having the awareness that I give my power away and vibrate at a low frequency when I feel this unconscious belief to be true and therefore define me. In return, that which also vibrates at a low frequency resonates in equal measure with me and reflects back. I am so much more in tune with this now. One thing is to have awareness; the other is to decide what to do with this awareness?
It is of no value if I do nothing but be aware because then the power stays with my unconscious belief. So, with the flooding of tears, instead of feeling powerless and incapable, I chose to hold myself in love. I chose to be a mother to myself holding me, speaking the language of loving compassion instead of shame or regret, even though the feeling of regret felt so overwhelming, I allowed myself to be nurtured and consoled in love and understanding that it has been part of my unfolding so regret and shame do not serve my healing if anything they hold me back from processing. I forgave myself for unconsciously feeling that I was powerless and incapable and letting it direct my life.
Sitting with the emotional pain I felt once more the intensity of grief for a child I can now never have. Even though I realized the last five years that I needed to come to terms with the fact having my own child is not part of God’s plan for me, it has been a heart-wrenching journey of understanding, acceptance and letting go. The scar runs deep. I realized yet again recently, deeper than I ever knew. I know for as long as I live in this physical body, my heart will always feel the loss of not having a child, always, even if I understand why it is. So I cried more and I allowed it, but instead of judging myself, I accepted my higher Self to love me in my grief. I clearly saw and felt myself as my inner child being held and loved unconditionally.
My healing journey continues as one of loss. Loss of motherhood, loss of livelihood and loss of financial security. I realized that despite my transition from where I was to where I know I truly want to be in my life, I cannot deny that the healing of loss in my life continues to require my attention and loving devotion far more than I initially foresaw.
The work of my inward journey together with following my heart’s calling for the work I am gifted to do will provide the medicine needed to face my shadow work in a more empowered way. This is my journey of the Heart Warrior and to journey with unconditional love.
The ride has been tumultuous yet equally liberating and exciting as I recently birthed my intuitive coaching into the world. Spirit blessed me with an empathetic nature and only in the recent years have I witnessed the power of my intuitive empathy unfold when representing in family constellation work where, through the permission of a person’s Soul, I become a channel to embody that person’s energy in the safely held quantum field. The healing and transformation that has transpired have been radical beyond words from deeply held trauma release to aspects of one’s life being clarified. The level of participation in family constellation work and personally holding space in sacred ceremony, seem to have been the catalyst for the revelation during lockdown that my intuitive gift is part of my purpose to be fulfilled in this lifetime.
This purpose is my heart’s calling to fully embody being the channel of superconscious energy with emphasis on heart-connected emotional and spiritual healing that reveals the person’s truth of who they are and where they are. It is this truth that sets the person free from long-held unconscious belief patterns and empowers a path back to wholeness and purpose. My intention is always of service. True intuitive messages are always in service of our best interest and for our highest good.
“Intuition comes from your true self. Fear comes from our ego self.” ~ Teal Swan.
So with the transformational ride of heart healing came a heart calling and I answered it, admittedly with an equal mix of mustered courage and childlike excitement. The medicine woman in me has stepped into embracing the Heart Warrior I am meant to be, always guided by Spirit, to serve my truth and purpose, while owning my own shadow work with unconditional love.
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